A State of Now

you sunk deep under my skin

until all the knots in my muscles melted

until my little problems were no problems at all

until my mind was in complete and utter silence

until I was out of my head and in my body

until sensation was all there was

 

the sensation of you

all over all around and in

 

I was free like water

taking the shape of every moment as it occurred

then the “I” was gone and only my breathe remained…perfectly synchronized with yours

with every inhale I grew less dense…the space between my matter expanding

with every exhale that space was getting filled with you…the fusion of us just a little more complete

 

but there was no high in this union

no ecstasy in this consummation

nirvana was now but there was no elevation

it wasn’t in heavens seven layers of skies above

it is right here, right now

there was only the ever so gradual settling sense

of being grounded

closer than ever to the earth, to the ground

closer than ever to dirt, mud rock and sand

 

my heart is at centre stage

in everything I touch or taste

my mind totally free from conformity

my soul totally free from shape

I am no longer a small entity struggling at the corner of the earth

I am

the story

of mankind

My Curls

I miss my curls

the unpredictability of every strand of my hair

how each one finds its own convoluted path from wet to dry

I miss the fact that even though every strand has a personality of it’s own and is usually very stubborn

they somehow manage to collectively form a beautiful arrangement each time, as if it were carefully designed from the start

I miss the playfulness in which it interacts with the world…always ready to bounce

and how it responds to the calling of the wind

and humidity

It breaks my heart to tame their wildness

suppress their passion

trim their ruggedness

it breaks my heart to force my strands to conform to one shape

one dull, lifeless, boring shape…no matter how soft and shiny

and why would they comply?

when they can find union autonomously

Look at you

Look at you…just look at you

perfectly content with paper,

with plastic,

with copies

nothing original about you

you are average at what you do and have no aspirations

you mostly have no opinion of anything that matters

sports, fashion and celebrities become your obsession

your new found religion

the one that your mother didn’t teach you

at least this way you give the illusion of independence

the only words with greater than two syllables you say are a regurgitation of a quasi-political, quasi-scientific, or a quasi-human thing you accidentally encountered

and even though you have no sense of wonder, no curiosity and no desire to know

you still attack anything new

anything unusual

anything original

because you don’t relate to it

how can an android know what it’s like to be human?

and you know you’re not human

you know there’s nothing human about you

there’s only void running through your veins

you feel the heaviness of your emptiness

every time you are faced with beauty

…………………………………………………………………………

the fire inside you has no trace

only a blackened heart remains

and the scent of burnt flesh

it has been extinguished long ago

with the cynicism of adulthood

the child inside you is locked away in a deep dark dungeon

and everyday you come up with novel ways to increase “security”

and even though that child is what makes you, you

it is too risky to let him play

too much at stake

you would rather put a fake smile on and slave away

than see him try and fail

because when he fails, the ground under your feet begins to crack

and you start to fall into the rabbit’s hole

you start to realize

that failing isn’t so bad

that there’s a world of wonder awaits

but only if you open your heart, will you see

Nov 2011

Keeka and I about Vegetarianism

A conversation between my 6 year old sister and I about Vegetarianism

Me: You are evil because you kill chickens and eat them.

Keeka: We don’t kill them (speaking on behalf of the rest of my family while they’re listening), somebody else kills them and we just get them from them, cook them and eat them.

Me: Yeah but the fact that you “get” them means that you are asking for them to be killed.

She paused, looked up at the ceiling with a very scrutinizing look on her face and said “you are right, but what if somebody really likes eating chicken? What do they do then?”

Me: Well, you can’t kill the poor animals just because you like eating their meat!

Keeka: Yeah but how do we get our nutrition?!

At this point her voice got louder, her eyes widened, and her lips were more tightly pressed as if she just had won the argument.

Me: you can have a healthy diet eating fruits vegetables and all sorts of nuts and grains.

Keeka: You can eat that. We, on the other hand, are still going to eat meat.

Me: You are still going to be evil then.

Keeka: (screaming now and running towards me to scare me with a fake angry look on her face) WE ARE NOT EEEEEEVIL!

My sister’s first argument is precisely what I think is wrong with how our human civilization handles the production of meat. Animals are systemically killed somewhere far away, and then are brought to our dinner tables as delicious and nutritious food. There is no connection, no link and no relevance to who that piece of meat was. Out of sight, out of mind is of course what is best for the comfort of our collective conscience.

The halal rule in Islam  have succeeded somewhat in preventing this commodification of animals. By putting all these rituals around the killing of an animal, it is keeping the sacredness of the life that is being taken away. It is preventing the killing from being mechanized and being cruel and emotionless. People have still managed to systemically kill animals though…

My argument is that if you must kill animals, their death must be appreciated. Someone has to feel sorry for doing it. That way, people are not going to kill animals just to satisfy their taste buds. And since, we can have a healthy life without having to kill animals, why do it at all?!